Run
by rlucain
Summary: Nothing but the sound of my heart beating, the wind whistling in my ears, my boots pounding under the earth, the feel of every unused muscle in my body aching in protest, screaming at me to stop. One shot, Zuko POV, hints of ToKo. T for sailor mouth.


Five years; five lonely horrendous and achy years. It seemed pathetic that in those five years, the only thing I had managed to do was dang near drive myself insane. As the days stretched on, I felt more and more like her, like my sister. Like the little girl her older brother had failed to protect, not from any outside evil. No, it is neither friend nor foe that drives a man, or in this case a woman, to evil; it is her own mind. I was born first for a reason.

The older brothers are born first to protect those who come after him, and I had failed at that, miserably, and even Katara could not make it seem any better because it just fucking wasn't. I adore Katara, really, but sometimes, she just lies right through her teeth and you can see it in her eyes. The way she fidgets as she tells you everything will be okay, that you did not fail and you are not useless, no matter what your demons may scream at you in your nightmares. As much as she's important to me, as much as we have been through together, even she does not make the screaming stop, and it is always Azula's frantic screaming and crying that I hear.

Everyone believed me to be some sort of hero, some son of god sent from the heavens to release them from the purgatory they themselves had placed them in. As if I had done something worth praising, but it was not me that saved the world, it was not me that helped said world put the pieces back together, it was not me that tore down the walls of Ba Sing Se, opened new trade routes, delivered the most helpful advice during the Council meetings, it was not _me_ that did any of that. That, was completely and entirely Aang. I was just the one with the golden thing in his hair that meant absolutely nothing in the face of the Avatar.

He left three weeks after my coronation. She followed; I expected no less, anyone who did not see that the Waterbender loved the Avatar was just stupid. Sokka went home, grumbling something about needing to… do something before his old man kicked the bucket (yea right, a mountain could not stop Chief Hakoda… unless that mountain had a certain someone's name). My uncle left in the end too, eventually returning to Ba Sing Se. My sister was gone, my mother nowhere to be found (I found her gravestone one spring, two years after my coronation), Mai eventually got bored and left. Somewhere along the line, I found it was difficult to carry on, that there was this weight that pressed incessantly against my shoulders, driving me into a deep and terribly intense sorrow.

I had no idea what it was about, nor did I really care. I had a nation to lead, to prevent from making the same mistakes they had once made, and I had no time for wallowing in self-pity and I damn well knew it. Perhaps I knew it a little too well. My nation always came first. The world always came first. My friends always came first. Something, anything, everything, always came first. Because who was I to whine and moan and complain about being lame and useless when they had one nation wanting imprisonment for the genocide of their people, another wanting funding to repair this or that and the last one wanting trade routes established to places that just were not possible for trade routes to reach? Yeah, that was what I said. I was stupid and selfish for thinking any of what I was going through went before any of that.

Where was I during all of this? I was sitting in my fancy chair with my fancy clothes on with a fancy golden thing in my hair that probably cost a fortune (granted, at the time that fancy golden thing had been in a different design but it was the same basic principle), with my whole family around me, my entire life ahead of me, and damn were things looking golden. Then I went and messed it all up; I pissed off my dad, got kicked out, sent on the most horrendous journey of my life, made and lost some friends, and then I won the right to sit in this chair again.

Oh yeah, that's right, even that had not really been me; Azula had cracked at a particularly convenient moment, Aang stripped my dad's bending, mom was long dead, uncle didn't want the crown, and there we go, no one left but me.

Fuck my life was a lie.

Thus it was without the spring in my step and the peculiar absence of any form of temper that she found me. I have the oddest desire to refer to her as an angel then, but if there is anyone on this blessed earth that is less like an angel, it's her. Yet, she's exactly like one, in her own twisted way. I could go on and on about that, but I think that sums it up perfectly, so I shall refrain from rambling about how - oh look at that, rambling anyway.

She arrives, by breaking through my study's floor. As I sit at the desk, staring at but not seeing the various scrolls about some thing or another that requires my seal, I feel the floor shake. At first it does not even phase me at all, yet the shaking grows more persistent and that is when I feel it. Laying the scroll in my hand on the desk, I stood up, and just as I cross to the door and prepare for shouting various orders due to an earthquake ('stay in the doorways', 'do not cross to the middle of the hall', yadda yadda), I hear the stone behind me explode and instinctively duck.

Only she could do that to my palace and not end up fried.

"Morning, Fireball." Her voice has the same rebellious edge to it, as if daring me to yell at her for destroying my floor, but at the moment, I'm just so relieved to hear a voice that I recognized and had not been listening to non-stop for the last five years, it just does not matter at all. The floor could be replaced.

Toph Bei Fong could not be.

"You should have sent a letter," I grumble, not sure of what else to say. "I could have prepared for your arrival."

"Please," she snorts, irritation oozing off her tongue; "as if what I really want at any point in my life is to be greeted with far more pampering than any creature of the earth should get. Ever." With a sigh, I turn around, and for the first time since her arrival, she sees me. Figuratively speaking, but somehow, I know Toph sees better than any of us with two working eyes can. She knows immediately there is something wrong with me. It had been gradual; even I had not seen it at first.

Yet somehow, she instantly sees it, and knows exactly what to do.

She knows where she is. Jerking a thumb behind her, the same rough grace as ever guiding her movements, she asks, "those important?"

"Of course. They're mostly about establishing new trade routes and funding restoration efforts."

It was as if it had gone in one ear and out the other. "Not important then." Closing the space between us, she takes my hand, tugging me out the door. "Come with me, Zuko." I don't even bother trying to resist, knowing this boulder, as smaller than me as she may be, will not take no for an answer. Quite honestly, I did not care where we were going.

She led me through the halls and out into the courtyard. The sudden sparkle of sunlight blinded me for a moment, after so long of not seeing it, yet if she noticed she gave no hints to it. "We are going to play a game."

I had no time for games or anything of the sort. I was Fire Lord now, I had lots of things to do. Hundreds of people depended on me. I was sure she knew this. "I don't -"

"What's the matter?" she interrupted, a teasing tone in her voice. I tried my best to ignore it. "Afraid a little girl is going to beat you at a simple game?" She wasn't that little anymore, but I bit that back. That was completely irrelevant.

"No, there are simply more important things to do." She wasn't satisfied with my answer, not that I was surprised. She pressed on, regardless of the way I sighed in irritation at her persistence.

"They can survive long enough for you to play a game with me."

"Fine, then tomorrow, _you_ deal with the delegates from the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribe, and _you_ tell them my sad lack of a plan."

"I will then. But you have to play a game with me."

"Toph, I seriously have things to take care of."

"I come all this way from Ba Sing Se to see you for the first time in -"

"That is completely irrelevant, and it definitely does not matter."

"Are you saying I don't matter then?"

"That is not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

"My nation comes first."

"Before me?"

"**No**, you _know_ what I meant, now stop playing stupid because I know for a fact you are not."

"I have to wonder if you haven't gone stupid in my absence."

My patience snapped clean in half. Now that I think about it, this was her plan all along. Striding over to her, I glared at her in uncontrolled anger, bristling with a rage I was not sure at the time that I still had the energy for, just waiting for her to give me a reason to fry her into next Tuesday. Finding her smirking at me the entire time definitely did not help matters.

"I spend **all my time** sitting in a stuffy room listening to annoying little asshats talk about this shit and that shit and you come _all the way here_ and you call me what again! Are you dense? I have a nation to run and it does not include playing your stupid little games! Go find Aang!"

"No, dummy, if I wanted to play with Aang I would have stayed in Ba Sing Se. I want to play this game with you." Her calm completely unnerved me, which only served to ignite the rage again.

"Maybe you SHOULD have stayed, things were a lot less nerve grating around here without you!"

"Five."

"Five what?"

"Seconds to run. Four." I could feel the earth shaking underneath me. I was not sure what to do, but the realization that I had not seen her in five years, five horrendously torturous years, and the first thing she does is annoy the hell out of me and then threaten to attack set off some sparks. My hand shot out, and the rumbling stopped but her pale hand caught my wrist, and she shifted her weight. Turning my own momentum against me, she flipped me onto my back, staring down at me with an awkward smirk that I realized I had missed. For a much longer time than I wanted to admit.

"I can kill you where you lay at this very second." To illustrate the point, she Earthbended a few boulders up, letting them hover around me. "Either run, or I crush you."

My temper died down, and rationality caught up with me. There were no sugary lies in her tone. She was serious. If I did not run, she really would kill me. That sudden revelation shocked me into bolting up and darting through the trees. I sensed her behind me, Earthbending streaks of rock after me. I ran faster.

Nothing but the sound of my heart beating, the wind whistling in my ears, my boots pounding under the earth, the feel of every unused muscle in my body aching in protest, screaming at me to stop. This was Toph; she may have been an earthen avalanche, but she was also my friend. One of the few I could say with confidence that I still had. There was no way she would hurt me. … not that bad anyway.

Yet, even knowing that, I kept running anyway. Eventually, I tugged my shirt off, tossing it somewhere behind me, knowing that it would slow me down. Sweat clung to every rippling muscle in my body, but I still did not stop. I would sorely (excuse the pun) regret this tomorrow, but I kept running. Finally, I almost fell off a cliff, finding myself staring at the Gates of Azulon. There was nothing in front of me but a sixty foot downward drop, the harbor, and the sea. The rising sun sent sparks of gold everywhere, painting the sky a most breathtaking scene, one I had not laid eyes on in far too long.

Gradually, my breathing slowed down. I just stared at it, yet part of me never really saw it either, breathing, not moving. There was no point in moving anymore. I knew what she was doing, and every muscle in my body heard it loud and clear.

At length, my ears picked up the sound of footfalls in the grass behind me. I turned slightly, watching as Toph walked over to me methodically, a soft smirk on her face. I saw her, and felt that for the first time, I _really _saw her. The shirt I had discarded some ways back was over her shoulder, and I realized somewhere during that frantic run, she had stopped Earthbending after me, and had started walking.

Nothing was said for a few heartbeats, what seemed like an eternity as I gazed at her lifeless eyes. I realized how much I had loved those eyes, how much I still did. It hurt, to realize how much I had missed and yet had completely forgotten it.

"Run, Fireball."

She moved to the side, gesturing behind her with a sideways nod. This time, I did not think twice before I rocketed back the direction we had come. Yes, I knew exactly what she was doing. With each labored breath, each tickle of the wind, each thump of my boots against the earth, each defiant pound of my heart, she was giving me back the freedom I had given up without realizing it.

With that one word, she was giving me back my spark. And now I was a shooting star, the same one she always knew I was.

* * *

**Notes:** A side one-shot I kind of... spaced out into existence... while writing the next chapter of Like the Sun. It was an interesting thing to write. I had a character once, based in the Bleach-verse, who loved to run. Not flash step, but just run. Feel her body work in unison to make that simple movement, feel the motion tangling her hair around itself, feel the wind whispering in her ear. Because in that moment, her heart thumping wildly in her chest, she was free. And that, was the inspiration for this. A trapped Zuko is given a way out so simple he should have seen it.

If you are confused, she only argued with him to get him pumped up, adrenaline coursing through him. Remind him what it was like to feel fear for his life, to fight with his spirit, and then set him free.

I love reviews, by the way. I may actually extend this after Like the Sun comes to an end.


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